Baking Muffins

Mmmmm, today is a good day! I have been baking copious amount of lovely organic muffins. It is such a therapeutic thing to do, especially on a Sunday. Mmmmm, the mixing of magic ingredients (okay, well flour, fruit & chocolate then), the pouring into paper cases (which often seem to collapse under the weight-am I using too much batter!), the waiting whilst the oven performs it’s magic, the delicious smell, and mmmmm, the taste of hot muffin, yummy.

Also, we’ve been working on our application for NZ residency, which will be equally delicious if it works out. We visited briefly (10 lovely days) last summer as part of our Singapore/Oz/NZ/San-Fran trip and loved it so much we’ve decided to go back! Well, hopefully. The form is quite complicated, lots of referencing from jobs done aeons ago, and a fair bit of dosh to shell out (why am I talking like a cockney?! – translation: a fairly substantial amount of money to pay!), but if we get residency, it’ll be fab.

Ah, we can leave our stinky jobs – mine being particularly reeksome – and move to a healthier, more organic way of life on the other side of the world, mmmmm, yummy! Muffin, anyone?

.......and so on and so on

Thank You Doctor!

My kind & understanding doctor has graciously signed me off work for 2 weeks whilst I try and sort myself out. She's convinced, and I agree, that my physical symptoms – the migraines, almost constant nausea, resurfacing of arthritic pain etc – is a result of the undue stress I am under.
She, like everyone else outside of the organisation that I bore with my woeful tales, seemed shocked to hear of the appalling way the team is being treated. She has advised me to get some counselling asap and try to use the time off relaxing, taking time for myself, exercising etc. All of which I do try to do but it’s difficult when you have the nagging worry of having to go back to work hanging over you and the threat of something else going wrong as it invariable has!
Still, I’m going to try to forget about it for a while……….

.......and so on and so on

Sick Leave

Have been feeling quite low with work situation plus had arthritic pain in my left hand which is so frustrating. Still, a bit of period pain & nausea soon put that in perspective as did the disastrous meeting I had yesterday with AM (Area "Manager") & HR.
The second instalment of the interrogation was worse than the last and I felt as though AM was deliberately trying to wind me up. He can be so obnoxious at times, a good hard slap wouldn't have gone amiss (obviously I would never do this as I don't advocate violence as a rule, but in my head, where no-one gets hurt, he has received more than a few slaps).
He made me so angry and then accused me of having aggressive body language - doh! What kind of brain-dead fool would I be if I just sat there taking his accusations of foul play, collusion against a poor defenceless manager and unjustified anger towards my employers, with a smile on my face! Or perhaps he wanted me to hang my sorry little head in shame and say, "Yes, you are right, Your Worshipfulness, you have tried so hard and all I have done is fail you and your organisation. I am deeply ashamed and beg forgiveness promising to do all I can to follow your guidance regardless of my own opinions & feelings" In his dreams!
Sometimes, I think he may actually be insane as he seems to really think that he has done all he can to support the team and that we are the ones who have made things difficult. Either that or his agenda is to drive us all insane until we leave and then he can add another closed project to his rapidly increasing list.
Needless to say, I was very upset by the end of the meeting and had to struggle to hold back frustrated, angry tears as HR asked if there was anything further I wanted to say. I simply stated that anything I said would be futile. They exchanged glances and the meeting was over.
Agh! I can't wait to leave this stupid disorganised society! I feel too stressed, angry & nauseous to go in today. I can't believe I have to put up with this crap.

Things to do:
1) See doctor re constant nausea
2) Join the union in-case the "charity" try to sack me for having my own opinions
3) See if can get some counselling to help deal with all this rubbish
4) Breathe

.......and so on and so on

Heythrop Park Jan 2005

Brockwell Park Jan 2005

Interrogation

Had compulsory meeting today with HR & the Area "Manager" under the guise of "finding out what went wrong with last manager". Although the aforementioned parties denied they would do such a thing, it was clearly an investigation to try and find out what the team had done to make "such a good manager" leave!!! It would have been comical if it hadn't been so upsetting. When I arrived in the tiny meeting room at central office, AM and HR had positioned themselves on one side of a long table, so I, the accused, had to sit opposite to make my defence.
I explained how I thought the manager had been unable to do her job and that perhaps she wasn't given the support she needed (ie from AM & HR). They - AM in particular - counteracted almost everything I said and then accused me of being defensive! This went on for too long and after about 2 hours, I left, feeling even more stressed than before safe in the knowledge that I'd have to attend a follow-up meeting in couple weeks - fantastic!
.......and so on and so on